


Know Who You Are

by BoPeepWithNoSheep



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast), The Adventure Zone: Amnesty (Podcast)
Genre: Abandonment, Alien Cultural Differences, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesty Lodge, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Gen, Identity Issues, Kid Fic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Post episode 18, TAZ Amnesty, accidental adoption, of sorts the interpreter is the kid, the interpreter gets exiled from sylvain and adopted by the lodge
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2019-09-28 07:27:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17178533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoPeepWithNoSheep/pseuds/BoPeepWithNoSheep
Summary: Alexandra loves Sylvain with all of her heart and listens the very best that she can. It’s her job, her duty, her destiny.And now it isn’t.





	1. Chapter 1

Only traitors and dissidents are banished. People who don't listen to the voice of Sylvain and heed her warnings. Alexandra is loyal to Sylvain. Alexandra loves Sylvain with all of her heart and listens the very best that she can. It’s her job, it’s her duty, her destiny. 

And now it  _ isn’t.  _

She’s not entirely sure what she did wrong, that the planet won’t talk to her anymore. Not a single word--she’s angered it somehow, the council whispers. As if she hasn’t spent her entire life carefully translating it’s gentle pulses of magic for them. As if leading them for years and years, as long as she can remember, means  _ nothing. _  She can’t remember a time that she wasn’t being coaxed towards the crystal’s light, asked what it’s wishes and guidance were before being herded back to her toys. 

It doesn't stop her from being pushed through the gate, shivering and alone. Tossed into the world that's killing her own. They aren’t cruel, they tell her softly because they bundle her up in a warm cloak and press a little pack of rations into her trembling hands. 

They’re doing the will of Sylvain, they tell her. Staring at her with sad, disappointed eyes and Alexandra keeps her head held high and doesn’t cry--Or rather, she  _ does  _ cry, but it’s her magic. It crashes out of her in waves, rustling clothes and making windows shudder. A storm is brewing to the south, she knows it will hit the moment she crosses the gates. Knows it in her very bones no matter how numb the rest of her feels. 

When the push her over it’s dark, the soft glow of the gate the only light in the pitch black forest that surrounds her. Alexandra doesn’t think she’s _ ever _ seen this many trees in one place, all alive and healthy. Not a single withered husk in sight, for just a moment, Alexandra lets the awe wash over her--Then the chill sets in and the moment passes. Alexandra isn’t sure how long she stands, back towards the slowly dimming portal until the only light is the soft orange glimmer of her own eyes. It’s so dark, it’s so cold. Alexandra slowly lowers herself to the ground, her knees hitting soft snow. 

Snow. When was the last time she’d seen snow? She doesn’t remember but her father had been there-- _ her father.  _

Her breath hitches and a high wail fills the forest, around her the wind picks up swirling snow in little spirals. The ground, now visible as snow cascades through the air rumbles ominously with every sob. Alexandra knows she should stop, knows her control is so very important but what does it even matter anymore. Patches of more densely packed snow, too heavy to be lifted up by the magical gale sharpen, jutting out of the ground like stalagmites. 

There’s no control, only grief and anger and despair swirling around in this beautiful, beautiful forest that the humans didn’t even  _ deserve _ . She’s lost her father, she’s lost Janelle, and she’s _ lost her planet. _  What use does anyone have for an orphan girl who failed the one thing she was destined for?

 

* * *

 

 

It’s nearly four am when Aubrey is awoken by frantic pounding in her door. Doctor Harris Bonkers sleeps peacefully on his own much smaller bed at the foot of her own, heedless of the noise. Conversely, Aubrey nearly falls out of bed as she scrambles up and out, her feet tangling in the sheets.  

“Don’t come in,” She calls practically falling over as she yanks on a pair of pants and scrambles to find a shirt among the mess that is her room, “I’m not wearing a bra!” 

The pounding on her door stops abruptly but is quickly followed up by Mama hollering, “Aubrey I don’t give two wits about your titties, get some clothes on there’s an abomination wreckin’ up the woods!” 

Mama’s words spur on Aubrey’s mad dash for a shirt, her vest, and she just barely remembers to snag her sunglasses as she slams open her door and nearly slams into Mama. She’s nearly out of breath and almost pitches over as she dodges out of the way but Mama reaches out to steady her with one strong hand, “Come on, girl. We gotta get into the woods right now, Barclay already went to pick up Duck and Ned but who knows how much time we have.”

Aubrey’s running after Mama, who wastes no time booking it out of the lodge and down the back path towards the gate. The only thing that slows them down is the uptick in the icy wind around them. Aubrey snaps her fingers, letting the warmth settle into her bones even as she desperately wishes she had thought to jam on a pair of socks or grab a jacket.

She stares up at the swirling snow that howls across the open field that contains the gate and even at just fifty feet away Aubrey can barely see the gate. The only thing she can make out beyond the dimness of her sunglasses and the heavy white wind is a small yellow glow beside the gate, she guesses must be the monster.

Lowering her glasses just enough to get a better look she squints against the wind, “How can there be a bombom now? Don’t we have another two weeks?”

Mama sighs heavily as she loads her shotgun, “I’ve got no idea why it’s here so early but it’s near the gate and who knows what it could do if it breaks the gate or heaven forbid tries to get through.”

“Fuck.”

“My sentiments exactly, so come on now, you'll have to just get your breath when this monster is taken care of.”

 

* * *

 

 

Duck would enjoy if just ONCE in his life he could get a good night of sleep without a creepy future dream or a monster attack. It’s not a realistic wish these days, but it’s an idiotically optimistic one that he’s still gonna hold fast to with both hands even as he shrugs on his coat in the middle of December and piles into Barclay’s truck next to Ned.

The ride out to the forest is tense, with Barclay explaining the sudden freak storm and accompanied tremors. Once they're actually out of the truck and walking Duck can feel the soft shifting of the ground below him.

He’s not sure if he should be relieved or more worried that the apparent storm is more of a windstorm than any type of real precipitation. All the snow thrown up from what had presumably carpeted the ground and surrounding trees now swirling through the air at an alarming speed. Loose branches shaking out of trees and whipping through the air make him grimace as he picks up the pace as he makes his way over to Mama and Aubrey.

“Is it--Is it so much to ask for just like, one gosh darn week without something tryin’ to destroy my forest? Just one?”

Aubrey shrugs as she snaps a flame back and forth on her fingers, “I mean, at least it’s out here in the forest and hasn’t moved into town. Winds like this could take out a lot of windows and who knows what else.”

Mama’s frowning, staring up at the windstorm as she readies her shotgun, “Alright, now that the gang’s all here I reckon it’s time to move out. Aubrey, see if you can do anything about this snow. Ned and Barclay, keep up a perimeter and if this thing tries to run cut it off. Duck, you and Beacon are with me.” 

She moves forward without looking back to ensure her orders have been followed, Duck stumbles after unsheathing Beacon who practically  _ purrs  _ as he observes the situation. Behind him, Aubrey’s face takes on a look of concentration as she holds out her hands and suddenly a gale of warm wind blows over him, joining the blistering cold. Snow melts and the resulting water belts down against Duck’s back but it helps with visibility so he can tolerate getting a little damp. 

Mama’s already taking aim as soon as she’s got a clearer shot at the hazy lump of something in front of the gate. Duck himself lets out a curse as the sheer force of wind takes her bullet wide and it crashes against the gate itself. The creature lets out a frightened shriek that sends a jolt of familiarity down Duck’s spine because he’s  _ heard  _ a scream like that before. 

“Mama! Don’t shoot!” He calls as he reaches out, wrenching the barrel of her shotgun towards the ground before she can line up a second shot, he ignores the burns on his palms, they'll heal right quick anyway.

“Duck! What the hell are you doing? That monster needs to be put down!” 

“That’s no monster, Mama. That’s a fucking  _ kid _ ,” As soon as the words leave his mouth, Duck chucks Beacon back towards the others. He ignores the irritated hiss and stream of insults that leave his sword as he dashes forwards. Now that Aubrey’s melted most of it, it’s easier to make the little figure in the snow. 

The keen wails he might have mistaken for fox calls any other night, paired with tiny shaking shoulders? Well, Duck  _ knows  _ a child in distress when he sees one. The occasional kid lost in the woods, or scouts lead on a nature trail, or further back his little sister, Duck reckons he has the most experience with kids out of this whole operation. He’s pretty certain he’s never met a glowing one before, but honestly weirder things have absolutely happened to him. 

He can feel debris blown out by the wind knock against his back and while Duck raises his arms to protect his face his pace doesn’t falter. Slowly, step by stumbling step, he manages to pass through the majority of the borderline gale force winds and staggers into the proverbial eye of the storm. Here beyond the din of wind, the persistent weeping sounds about as far from a fox call as could be. 

“Hey! Kid, you okay? Are you hurt?” Duck keeps his own voice steady, the only thing that stresses kids out worse than pain is seeing adults stressed out. There’s not much of a response, though now as he gets closer Duck’s a little  _ more  _ distressed to see that what appears to be a girl, no older than thirteen if he had to put money on it, sitting huddled up not even a foot in front of the gate. To his continued dismay, she’s not  _ really  _ dressed for the weather. 

She’s got some sort of fancy blanket but no boots or snowsuit, just what looks like a sundress better suited for late autumn than late December. The ranger’s already shucking off his own jacket as he gets closer. Duck’s got a little bit of cushion to him, the twig of a thing needs it a lot more. 

Finally, he slows his pace, coming to a stop a few feet from the little girl before kneeling down. He can’t see much beyond the curtain of long, dark hair but the soft glow of her tanned skin. It's maybe a little disconcerting, a glowing crying child, until it hits him where he’s seen this before. The kid’s a  _ sylph _ \--like Dani or Moira. 

“Hey, kiddo, you get lost and take a tumble through the gate?”

As soft and gentle as he keeps his tone, Duck realizes it's the exact wrong thing to say as his words seem to register with the kid. Her shoulders shake harder and the breeze picks up. A small voice whimpers, just barely audible over the roar of wind, “They--They _pushed_ me!” 

Duck’s heart sinks just as surely as a little bubble of anger boils in his gut, he pushes it down though. Now isn’t the time to be mad, not when it could frighten the already terrified kid in front of him. He scootches a bit closer, even if he knows his knees are gonna kill him for it in a few hours.

“Hey, sweetheart, it’s okay. The people who pushed you are gone now, it’s just me and you. Can you tell me if you’re hurt anywhere?” The girl nods her head, and it takes a lot of self restraint for Duck to stay still, all his patience would mean nothing if he just up and startles her now, “Can you show me?”

Slowly the girl unwraps her arms from around herself and Duck has to bite back a curse at the bright red and beginning to purple tips of her fingers. It’s been a while since he’s seen frostnip but every ranger is taught the signs to watch out for. Lord, he hopes her feet are doing better considering it looks like she’s in bed slippers.

“Alright, if it’s okay with you, I’m gonna give you some gloves, alright?” He doesn’t actually wait for her to answer him before stripping off his own gloves but as soon as she gives another shakey nod Duck’s bundling up her hands in one motion and settling his jacket across her shoulders the next, “My name’s Duck Newton, it’s a nickname, is there something I can call you?”

The girl shakes her head as she practically sinks into his jacket, tugging it around herself as her shoulders sag and little by little, the wind starts to die down again. It worries Duck immensely that he isn’t sure if that’s a good or a bad thing.

“That’s alright, you’re being real brave right now. If you could be just a little braver for me I can bring you somewhere warm, but I’ve gotta pick you up, alright?”

She’s a little too big for Duck to lift effortlessly, he thinks she's somewhere in the range of ten to twelve. It makes things a bit unwieldy because she's just entering her gangly stage by the looks of things but he’s always been a bit hardier than most and gets her off the ground safely. The fact that she’s practically ice has the ranger trying his best to tuck her close to his body and pivot himself so he’s blocking the majority of the wind. The entire way as he makes his way out of the little storm’s epicenter he rambles, mostly narrating all of his actions before he makes them.

In part in the hopes that maybe she’ll calm down and the magic will fizzle out along with her panic and in part to keep her awake. He’s got no earthly idea whether or not her hypothermia is mild or moderate but either way, there’s no chance he’s gonna let her take a nap she may not wake up from. 

“I’ve got some friends with me, alright? Some of them are a little weird--Well, I guess to you Barclay’s the normal one, huh--Well, Aubrey’s gonna help you a lot, okay? She’s got magic like you do, but it’s fire instead of all this wind. Ned’s gonna, well, Ned’s probably gonna be loud so I guess he’ll help you stay awake. My friend Mama, she’s not  _ my _ Mama she’s got a nickname too, she’s got a place you can stay ‘till we get all this figured out.” 

Her eyes are tracking him all throughout his chatter, so he optimistically wagers on mild hypothermia, which is something he’s  _ actually  _ qualified to treat. For once he’s actually grateful for those quarterly emergency response training courses. 

The wind peters out along with the girl’s tiny sobs, and by the time she’s mostly calm albeit still shivering violently, he can see Mama and Aubrey waving him down. He can’t do much to gesture at them but shake his head furiously when when Mama moves for her gun and Aubrey brings up a hand poised to snap. 

“Hey guys,” he forces an uncomfortable amount of cheer into his voice for how internally panicked he feels, “I’ve got a little friend here who got into some trouble, do you think we’ve got space for her  _ at the lodge _ ?” 

Duck’s not really good with doubletalk, too close to lying really, but when he watches the realization spread over Mama’s face he feels nothing but relief. She’s ripping off her own jacket as she rushes him. Her voice is unexpectantly soft as she lays her duster over Duck’s arms, tucking it around his little guest like a blanket, “Oh, baby girl, they sent you out here all by yourself? God, I thought we told them after Jake they’ve gotta  _ warn  _ us if they’re sendin’ little’uns.” 

Duck watches, a little in awe as Mama frets about the girl, smoothing her hair out of her face and hissing slightly--the same way he had--at just how cold her skin is. “Barclay! Crank up the heat in the truck, we have an emergency!”


	2. Chapter 2

They all work fast, Aubrey’s honestly completely lost as Mama and Duck run back and forth piling blankets and jackets into the front seat. She knows the rough gist of things, Duck had hollered them at some point in his frantic trips back and forth from the truck bed and the passenger’s seat. They found an exile from Sylvain, a kid, and she probably had hypothermia.

Aubrey glances over at Ned and Barclay, mostly just to reassure herself that she’s not the only one running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Barclay looks genuinely distressed, as his head bobs back and forth following Duck and Mama, “Should I--Should I change? I can sit with her and maybe give off some body heat?”

Heat--Fuck, Aubrey nearly smacks herself, she’s an _idiot_.

“I’m like a human space heater,” She calls loudly pushing past Ned and Barclay, “I can help!”

There’s a beat of silence as everyone stares at her and Aubrey is suddenly overwhelmed with the idea that maybe she was being presumptuous. However, just as she takes a step back to go slink behind Ned and Barclay Duck’s hand hits his forehead with a resounding slap, “Fuck, why didn’t we think of that sooner?”

Mama hustles her over and Aubrey closes her eyes and breathes. She reaches deep into her heart where the fire always smolders just a bit. She thinks, _‘Please let me keep this kid warm, I want to help.’_ and she feels a gentle heat trail from her chest and down her limbs. She breathes out a sigh of relief, steam blowing lightly from her mouth and nose. Huh, that’s a cool trick she can try out later--but Aubrey shakes her head, she’s got _priorities_ right now.

When Mama ushers her into the passenger’s seat of the truck then lifts the kid up and onto Aubrey’s lap, her breath catches in her throat as she recognizes the face mostly obscured by blankets. Her head goes blank for a moment and her temperature jolts just a tick higher, “Mama, holy shit, Mama--Mama, this is bad.”

Mama tutts, rearranging the blankets again, wrapping them around Aubrey as much as the young sylph, “I’m well aware, Aubrey.”

“No--Mama, you don’t get it--”

“Aubrey,” Mama speaks firmly, no-nonsense and brows scrunched in concentration. There is carefully concealed fear in the lines of her face and Aubrey is momentarily silenced because if Mama is scared for this girl then shouldn’t Aubrey be? Mama slides herself into the driver’s seat as the rest of the Pine Guard all pile into the bed of the pick-up just in time for Mama to floor it, “Unless whatever you’re about to say is _important_ can you please focus on keeping up a steady heat?”

Aubrey grimaces, her hands rubbing steady circles on the kid’s back now. There’s a little bit of color coming back to her cheeks, golden tones less muted and the shine of her eyes brightening. Yeah, Aubrey is _pretty_ sure this is important.

“Mama, this kid is The Interpreter.”

Mama curses, loudly and colorfully and Aubrey thinks that it’s only years of trick driving away from monsters that keeps her from hitting the breaks. “What the _fuck?_ ” She keeps her eyes mostly on the road but occasionally they dart over, staring holes into the little girl with a look of absolute incomprehension, “Have those Sylphs lost their goddamn minds?”

 

* * *

 

Alexandra wakes up shivering, it’s _freezing_ but she’s nestled on someone’s lap and without opening her eyes she tugs the blanket on her shoulders over her head and burrows her face into the figure’s shoulder. Her head feels fuzzy, and even if she tenses all her muscles she can’t stop shaking which is _scary_.

Her breath hitches a little and though the cloth covering her she can see dim lights flickering. The person holding her shifts and a low voice intones, “Hey sweetheart, you finally feelin’ better?”

Alexandra’s brain still feels fuzzy--but _no one_ else ever called her sweetheart, just her title. She struggles to free her face from the tangle of blankets that she’s covered in, “D-Dad?”

There’s a hiss of breath, not from the person holding her but the other side of the room and Alexandra finally manages to get herself untangled. She squints against the lights. They hurt her head and she wants them _gone_ \--

And then there’s a crackle and shattering sound and Alexandra yelps as the lights overhead burst. Suddenly, she’s being swaddled like a little kid as the blanket is shoved back over her head and she’s tucked back into the person--the stranger, a stranger is holding her it’s not her dad.

“Aubrey?! What the fuck was that?!”

“Th-That wasn’t me, Duck! I swear!”

Alexandra scrambles trying to push herself away from the stranger who lets out a yelp of his own as when her palm slams against his cheek and she tumbles backward out of the chair. She hits the ground with a resounding crash, kicking her legs to free herself from the entangling blankets with a middling amount of success.

It sends off a streak of panic through her body as she notices the figure--man, _a human man_ \--push himself out of the chair and move towards her. Without thinking, Alexandra thrusts her hands forward her mind frantic because there’s a _human_ and he won’t stop coming closer.

“St-Stay away!”

She doesn’t expect the magic to come, because she’s not good enough anymore, Sylvain won’t talk to her but still her hands crackle with energy and a gust of wind riles out of nothing. Her heart hammers in her chest and her hands shake so bad she can barely feel them but she keeps scrambling back and back and back until her back hits a wall. She’s nearly crying, even if she doesn’t want to because she’s dead--she has to be. That’s what humans do, they hurt sylphs and there are at least two humans here and she’s all _alone_.

She wants Sylvain. She wants Janelle. She wants her _dad_.

There’s a shushing noise, like someone trying to calm a distressed animal and Alexandra’s eyes lock onto the human man. He’s kneeling now, hands outstretched and palms facing upwards, Alexandra flinches back because that’s a dangerous casting position before she remembers that humans don’t have magic.

“Hey, hey, hey, I know you’re real scared right now but do you remember me? I helped you out near the gate.”

Alexandra blinks, eyes narrowing as she finally takes in the features of the man before her and--and he _does_ look familiar. It comes rushing back to her all at once, the reason for her chattering teeth and the chill down to her very bones. This man found her outside the gate, he carried her to some sort of--she’s not sure where she is. Looking around there aren’t any windows, just walls--She breathes deeply, trying to stretch her senses like Janelle taught her but there’s just too much going on. Her teeth clacking with cold, her limbs that practically vibrate, and the frantic patter of her heart.

She can’t find her calm, can’t make sense of her own feelings and wade through them to ask the energy around her for help. She hadn’t even been sure she’d still be able to reach into Earth’s well of energy to use her magic but evidently, she still can. That’s important, she tucks that away into her heart and lets it help steady it’s beating. Just a little bit.

Sylvain won’t listen to her--but Earth will. It’s terrible and it’s frustrating but it means she can protect herself.

One hand snakes out, and she pulls up the blanket tangled around her foot, wrapping it back around her shoulders. Her cloak is gone, she’s not sure where it went and the clothes she’s wearing now are too big, rolled up at the wrists and ankles and _definitely_ not hers. She struggles with combing through her fuzzy memories of events after she’d been pushed through the gate but eventually settles on a name.

“Duck?”

The man smiles, wide and easy and the expression almost brings to mind Vincent in the warmth it possesses if not the facial features producing it, “Yeah, I’m Duck, didn’t mean to scare you but you got real cold out there all on your own. Mama and Aubrey tried to get ahold of ya but once we got out of the truck you uh, got a lil upset about that so I had to grab ya. Sorry, kiddo.”

His voice is gentle, just as gentle as he’d been when he’d given her his coat and mittens. Alexandra nods slowly because this human _has_ been kind, kinder than any of the stories have ever said. Which is when something occurs to Alexandra and a weight settles back onto her shoulders as she gives the thought a chance to settle on her tongue, “Are--Did you get exiled too?”

Duck blinks, caught off guard by her assumption, “Nah, I’m--ya know, I met you once before just for a hot second. Me and Aubrey here, we’re members of the Pine Guard.”

Alexandra opens her mouth to say something, anything but nothing really comes out. Mostly her attention is finally drawn to the other occupant of the room who she recognizes _instantly_. She’s certain now that she’s in a bad way considering the little sylph has missed the human woman until now.

It has her hackles rising, just a little bit, laying eyes on Janelle’s _other_ student.

 _Aubrey_ \--Janelle talks about her often, how much of a wonder she is. How different her magic is from everyone else in Sylvain. The human has an inate connection with magic almost like Alexandra’s and isn’t that so _special_.

It’s a bad feeling, deep in her chest. Something angry and spiteful that Janelle would be disappointed in her for. That bubble of grief and acrimony that she keeps just barely suppressed beneath her skin at the very sight of the human woman. _‘She still gets to go see Janelle,’_ Alexandra thinks resentfully, _‘She isn’t even Sylvainlvain and she gets to go back.’_

It’s not fair.

The anger bubbles in her chest, like a poisonous flower digging it’s roots through her system. It’s not fair--none of it’s fair. She should be back in Sylvain with Janelle and not here with the Pine Guard, a bunch of humans that think they’re better than all the other humans because at some point in the past another Interpreter made the mistake of giving them those _stupid_ patches. They never got banished for that stupid decision.

Alexandra’s the first Interpreter as far as she knows who’s ever been exiled--And she didn’t even do anything _wrong_.

She’s not sure whether it’s the way she’s staring at Aubrey or the way that the very temperature in the room literally drops that triggers the adults to act. The pure aggression that just radiates off of her palpable because Aubrey holds up her hands in supplication at the exact same moment that Duck, crouched at her level as he is, waddles a bit closer.

“Hey, I promise we ain’t gonna do anything to hurt you. We don’t just protect the gate, ya know? We protect all the sylphs that live over on this side and that means we’re gonna help you out the best we can alright?”

It breaks her concentration, mostly. There’s still a part of her mind focused on that cold white anger that somehow always peaks out when Alexandra loses her temper. She’d overheard Woodbridge call her a brat for it once before Janelle had scolded him. The pressure of her role at her young age makes such outbursts understandable, her teacher always insisted--Quick to defend her student until Janelle _wasn’t_.

Alexandra takes a deep breath, then another, like Janelle always said to do when she felt like Sylvain’s voice was too loud. Only now it isn’t Sylvain’s voice whispering a million things directly into her brain, it’s her own voice screeching panic at the idea of being at the mercy of humans. It’s scary, it’s the scariest thing she’s ever done and all she’s doing is sitting and pressing all of her feelings into a little box so they can’t run away from her and ask for things that she doesn’t really want or need.

“Do--Do I have to stay in _here_?”

She looks around the room again, it’s darker now because she panicked and broke the little glass lights that span the ceiling. There are still lamps and a little box with bright snow flurries in the corner. Taking a better look around she confirms there really aren’t any windows and the buzz of the earth beneath her feet and her hands touching the walls feel like dirt.

They’re underground, that makes sense, it’s a good place to hide from monsters like humans. It doesn’t mean she wants to be underground for the rest of her life--and maybe longer. Unless Sylphs don’t become ghosts here like they do back home which, really she’s not sure if that’s reassuring or even scarier.

Duck seems to take in her apprehension and stops trying to move in closer, instead taking off his hat to dust some of the glass out of his way and sit himself down on the floor. It’s--Alexandra isn’t sure exactly what it is, polite or considerate but it’s _reassuring_ in a way because she’s very sure that she can get up faster than he can if she has to run.

“Of course we’re not gonna keep you here, but you do need t’ stay here ‘till we can get ya to Indrid to make one of those appearance changer gadgets for ya. Then you can come up and stay in the lodge with everyone else!”

“I have to wear a glamor?” She can’t hide the clear disgust from her face and it makes Duck’s expression waver slightly.

“I mean--Yeah, it’s for your safety, ya know? Everyone at the lodge has one so it’s not just you in particular.” He explains as if _that’s_ the problem. She’s never really put that much thought into the exiles and the things they must have to do in order to survive on earth but she feels bad for them suddenly--That they all have to pretend to be the thing that’s killing their real home just makes her _sad_.

Alexandra’s already lost her whole life and now she has to lose her own skin? It’s not fair. None of this is fair at all.

There’s a pit forming in her stomach and Alexandra can’t help it as she pulls her legs in and hugs them to her chest. She squeezes her eyes shut, because she doesn’t want to cry in front of humans. Technically, she thinks Duck has seen her cry, their meeting at the gate is still foggy but Alexandra remembers her eyelashes being heavy and frosted over at some point which means--it means she was crying but that was _different._

It isn’t, she just wants it to be because that makes her feel better. Well, not better because nothing’s better right now, everything is terrifying and terrible but it’s less vulnerable. Alexandra would do _anything_ to feel a little less like a scared child and more like royalty again.

She hears the two humans shuffling around the room but doesn’t dare look up, maybe if she can close her eyes hard enough she can pretend this is all just a dream. The humans' whisper, as if she’s not even in the room and maybe she isn’t. Maybe she’ll wake up soon and everything will have been a nightmare and Janelle will make her tea and they’ll talk out every step of her nightmare until it’s not scary anymore.

“Hey, Duck maybe we should get Barclay or Dani ‘cause they’ve been here, ya know? They might know what she needs to hear right now.” Aubrey speaks in hushed tones.

“Well, I reckon that’s as good an idea as any. You wanna go see who you can grab while I watch her?”

There’s not a verbal response but Alexandra hears soft hum of affirmation and the sound of boots tromping loudly from the room. Alexandra listens to the fuzzy noise coming from one corner of the room and the soft humming Duck starts up a minute or so after the other human leaves. Curled up as she is Alexandra drifts off slowly, wondering what kind of exiles Aubrey is bringing for her to meet and if they think it's unfair too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while! I've had a bit of a rough time working through the second chapter of this fic, in part because griffin has now officially pushed my fic into complete canon divergence because I planned Indrid into this goddamn fic and I'm not unplanning him. Duck will also be getting nerfed but that I'm just fudging the timeline a bit with.


End file.
